Each project arrives with its purpose, milestones and first tasks written out. Here is how the first three read.
Checking you are both ready to marry
A surprise proposal should only ever surprise someone about the when and the how, never the whether. Before spending anything, make sure you have talked openly about marriage, children, where you want to live and the timing, so that the question you ask is one your partner has already said they would welcome. Couples who skip this risk a public moment that goes badly for both of them.
First tasks
- Choose a calm evening this week to talk about marriage in general terms
- Ask your partner how they picture the next two or three years together
- Listen for any hesitation about timing and note it honestly afterwards
- Write a short private note on whether you are ready to plan the proposal
Proposal style brief for your partner
Some people dream of a crowd and a photographer, while others would be mortified by anything that is not private. Writing a one-page brief about how your partner, not you, would most like to be asked keeps every later choice of place, ring and audience pointed at the right person. Base it on things they have actually said and reacted to, not on what looks good online.
First tasks
- List every comment your partner has made about other people's proposals
- Decide where they would sit between private and public on a scale of one to five
- Write the things they would hate to have happen during a proposal
- Ask the agent to turn your notes into a one-page proposal style brief
Total proposal budget, ring and moment together
Ring prices take most of the attention, but the dinner, travel, photographer, flowers and a celebration afterwards can add a third again. Setting one figure for the whole thing, then splitting it between the ring and the moment, stops the ring swallowing the budget and avoids a proposal that starts the marriage in debt.
First tasks
- Check how much you could set aside without touching emergency savings
- Price a rough version of the moment you have in mind, including travel
- Split the total between ring, moment, celebration and contingency
- Save the budget where you keep the rest of the proposal plans
